In the end we all make mistakes.

For Lion

The end is nearing and my path still isn't clearing. You left me heartbroken, and I still don't know why. Dying is easy it's my fucking life that I hate and it seems like even non-believers must succumb to fate. God or Gods it makes no difference, in fact it's not to them I make inferences, it's to you, the masses in which I speak, and in no ways are my subtle phrases meek. I need to know why, when I cry, no person cares enough to lie. Just lie to me, tell me how amazing I am, I know I'm not, but is there any harm in them? I didn't think so, and has you know, lies save relationships, and they help me feel less like an insignificant piece of shit.

The taste of you is hard to erase, and when I close my eyes, what I see is your face. But you cannot give me your heart, and that is what I needed from our start. I die with or without you, but I'll be happier if it was with you my life ensued. You really are an angel among demons, a goddess among mortals, a nymph among sprites, and more than I describe, but the thought of you is why these blood tears I cry.

Has this all ends I think of your face, and how, even has I breathe my last, how amazingly gorgeous you are, body and soul, and just know, that you will always have my whole. My whole being and soul.

Signed your obsessive shadower,
your broken wolf,
and now and forever,
your best friend.

No Great Loss

So prom officially blew....my date kinda hated me, or so it seemed, I really wanted to make it a great time for her but it seems like I fucked up...again...I guess the saying you can't change a leopard's spots is true for me as well...I can never not be a fuck up. The funny thing is...I thought I would mess it up, but I never thought it would be because she didn't like me or something, I just thought that I would eventually say something, who knows, maybe I did, but I on't have any idea as to what. Well all I know is, if I got hit by a bus right now I would think....No Great Loss.

So she says this....

Let's just be friends....
So I say OK even thought it fucking kills me to say it. I am really trying to be just friends but their is a couple problems with this...first I am irrevocably in love with her. No matter what happens she will always own a part of my heart. Second and this is the biggest, she makes me feel bad when I am with another girl, and Third....She gets jealous and possessive when she finds out I kissed another girl or something of that nature.

Makes perfect sense doesn't it?

So.....

It has been awhile...and I guess I should start by saying....FUCK YOU!!!!
That is too all the people who let their boyfriends cheat on them....because their are guys like me who would kill for a chance with a girl as amazing as you....sorry about that people I am just a little tired of not being good enough for anyone lol

So here's a poem about my state of mind....


Worlds collide as you are on my mind and the world that I know ends,
But my mind is preoccupied with images of you and love is what I intend to find.
Yet here I am, another night alone, and I know you are out with him,
He is you lover, the man of your dreams, or so you keep on saying,
But he cheats, lies, and destroys your morale and your life he keeps on delaying.
But if you were with me you'd understand what a man has to offer,
Love understanding, with the aggressiveness you also require,
But instead of it aimed to hurting you, it'd be put to much better use,
Liking furthering this love, through any type of abuse.
Well that's the end of this fucking charade, now you know my wishes...
But you will stay with him, and think of me through all of his kisses.
Just think of how, while you sink farther in self-denial...
You could be with me instead of being with that child.

Rarg

I am tired, sleepy and just a little freaked out lol. I think I might be totaslly crazy (not that comes to a surprise to anyone) but I think that I may have actually drained the emotions out of a person. I mean you know when you say I wish I could take your pain away, well I think that I did it and I think that it isn't the first time....but last night I actually did it consciously where before I only did it subconsciously. Well I'll edit this later when it makes any type of sense.

Angel

To describe you in one word is blasphemy for you must be a goddess among mortals, your beauty is unmatched, your kindness unrivaled, and the way you make me feel is indescribable. If I could I would absorb all your pain into myself and I would bleed all my blood if it would save you. I barely know you, but I feel like I know you better than I know others. I'm floating when I see a picture of you, though it never does you justice, and to see the real thing is a paradise known to very few. To describe in this short paragraph is almost impossible because even the perfection of a perfect rose pales in comparison to your beauty in other words perfect is way too useless to describe the beauty everyone sees when they see you. You wouldn't understand what I'm saying unless you saw what I see when I saw you the first time.... an angel who was going to make everything better and with a fleeting touch all the problems that had plagued me for my life it all went away and I became healed, if only for that night, and became the person I've always wanted to be. You cared for me without even knowing me and that was something, no person has ever done, so to the point I was making, your an angel, that I want to be mine. But fear wraps itself around me like a blanket, having me resort to hidden meanings behind the things I say to you hoping you'd get it and let me know your feelings. But you haven't and part of me is glad because then the fear of rejection, which will surely follow, has not come.But how am I suppose to live without letting you know how I feel? Everything I've done in my life has been controlled by fear and maybe that's the true reason for my depression and loneliness. I'm trying to become brave but to do that I must confess to you before I lose myself in the pit of insecurities that grows steadily everyday. The only thing that keeps me from falling in is the picture of you in my mind, without any flaws in my opinion, standing there feeling the way I do. The only thing I can think of right now is you and to allow this charade to go on any longer is injustice. So I have to get this out, even if I'm not going to tell you yet....Your my perfect angel.